Mom Talk with Mercedes

In a few sentences (we know you don’t have much time!) tell us about yourself, your little one, and your motherhood journey…

I’m Mercedes Papalia, a multi-disciplinary creative, mother, wife, and lover of fresh flowers and authentic Italian food. I currently work as an interior stylist, actor, visual artist, and production designer. My daughter Luna is a 2 year old music/book enthusiast, nature lover, and armpit cuddler extraordinaire. Being her mom is the greatest thing I’ve even known.

Must Haves

What is one thing you couldn’t live without as a mom?

Sweatpants. Oh wait, you mean for Luna?! A good change mat and an easy to organize diaper bag. I love my Gathre mat, and Lily Jade bag with lots of pockets in a washable insert. 

What is one purchase that has been the biggest waste of money?

I did tons of research with my big purchases and am proud to report that I did not buy anything wasteful. However, she was born 9 pounds 3 ounces so all the newborn clothes I bought were a bust.

You’ve been there, done that… so what would you say… save or splurge?

Sleepers? Splurge on quantity! Sleepers and eventually PJs are one of the few things that we never have enough of.

Swaddles/blankets?  Hmm. Splurge. Luna hated swaddles and most of our blankets are homemade or hand me downs, but they are something to collect or invest in. 

Stroller?  Splurge. Tip: practice collapsing it in store with ONE HAND before purchasing and then find the best deal online. You’re welcome.

High chair?  Save. Ikea has one that is easy to store and clean and it’s under $30. 

Diapers and wipes?   Does a non-splurge version exist? I buy my Aleeva Bamboo Baby wipes in bulk so I think I’m splurging and saving at the same time.

Three things that are always in your diaper bag (besides diapers)?  

Sometimes I forget to put diapers in my diaper bag. There’s always a few small books, chapstick for me, an extra pair of pants for her, and hand sanitizer.

Book Club

What are your child’s favourite books? 
(bet you can recite from memory!)

Oh The Thinks You Can Think! By Dr. Suess. (among maaannnyyy others). Luna had around 40 books memorized by her second birthday. She is seriously into books. I think Goodnight Moon, Welcome Baby Welcome, The Wonky Donkey, This Is A Moose, Mmm Cookies, are among her top pics today. 

What is your favourite children’s book?  

Bloom by Elsa Schiaparelli is SO beautiful in story and visuals, My favorite collection is Little People, Big Dreams. I love children's books almost as much as Luna does.

Mini Style

What are your favourite places to shop for your babe? 

Before I had Luna I thought she'd only dress in beautiful handmade/high end clothes. Turns out she’s more of a roll in the grass in hand-me-downs kinda gal.

When I do shop I often find her best outfits at Value Village and other thrift shops. I also love Tokki in the junction because they have second hand goodness that’s previously been sorted through to find the good stuff. Joe Fresh and Old Navy are key for affordable basics, and Zara is awesome when I’m in the mood to splurge a little.

Mom Talk

What advice would you tell your pregnant self?  

Stop renovating houses and sit the hell down. 

What was one thing you thought about motherhood that proved to be untrue?  

That as a mother I would have to follow a predetermined set of rules.

I realized pretty early on that any expectations of Luna to sleep, eat and play when and where I decide doesn’t work for either of us. Letting her lead and teach me how to parent has been the only thing that keeps us (my husband included) happy. When I was pregnant I felt indoctrinated with sleep training books, and “you have to keep to a schedule! NO screen time! Put her in her crib! You NEED ____ (Insert something I’ve never needed here)” and other such comments. These suggestions come from a place of good intention for the most part - but it was causing me anxiety because everything seemed to be about gaining control and I felt I didn’t have any. Maybe it was the 62 hours of epidural free labour I experienced, but when I became a mom I began to practice allowing things to be as they are and have faith.

As a working mom, how do you find “balance” between work and motherhood?  

Waking up at 5:30am for a devotional practice of real self-care is my gateway to any semblance of balance.

My work is always creative and constantly changing. This month I’ve been remotely production designing a bathroom for a commercial, intuitive guidance coaching, and painting/drawing commission art pieces. My additional ongoing work includes writing and illustrating an oracle deck and a TV script, creating content for brands, and a wide range of other partnerships and contracts that I am passionate about creating. Needless to say, my mind, body, and spirit need to be aligned for my specific skill set because they require me to be present.

Waking up before Luna gives me time to do the things that keep me sane and healthy (morning pages, yoga, meditation) as the sun comes up. That's my only constant. The rest of the day depends on whatever my workload looks like that week. My husband TJ and I take “shifts” parenting and working, building our schedules to create the space we require in order to reach our deadlines. Our secret is doing this without panic, and staying conscious with each other's needs. It’s only possible if I take care of my mental, physical, and spiritual health every day. 

I’m not convinced balance exists, but this is the closest I’ve come. If you have it figured out, kindly DM me your sorcery.

Who is your momspiration? 

My mom. She’s also a really wonderful grandma so double points.

It’s more motherhood moments that inspire a shift in me, which can come from a photo, or story from the dozens of moms I follow online, but mostly they come from real life.

My friend Holly has 3 little ones, and she was over for a playdate recently. Her toddler Eloise was cranky, as our kids often are. Every time she said “NO!” Holly gently asked, “do you need a hug?” Then she picked her up and swayed back and forth in the sweetest embrace. It felt so nurturing and empathetic. I borrowed the phrase and now approach Luna’s fussiness, anger, and sadness by first offering a hug. Bonus - I often get a big ol’ toddler hug.

One of the best mom moments I have ever seen was while boarding a train with newborn Luna strapped to my chest. I saw a mom and her 15(ish) year old daughter doing the most epic handshake, complete with spins, butt bumps, and sound effects. MOM.SPIR.ATION.

I could write a book filled with these little vignettes of motherhood that light me up and make me proud to be a mom.

What has been your pandemic saviour?

Books, long stroller walks, and (mostly) educational screen time have all been necessary. What helps keep Luna busy and happy during long days at home is keeping her toys as tidy as possible. She will hardly play in her room if it’s a mess, but when it’s clean she’ll spend her mornings making up songs and exercising her imagination.

Follow Mercedes on Instagram: @mercedespapalia and visit her website: www.mercedespapalia.com

#TMLmomtalk